Monday, July 30, 2007

icWales - No joke for Daley dealer risking jail

icWales - No joke for Daley dealer risking jail: "by Steffan Rhys, Western Mail


A SECOND-HAND furniture salesman has been threatened with prison after erecting a “joke” sign above his shop.

Alan Vaughan called his shop, which sells used carpets and fridge-freezers for around £20 Arthur Llewellyn Daley’s, incurring the wrath of the furniture giant Arthur Llewellyn Jenkins."

Geoffrey Podger responds to the Racing Post article on HSE banning exercising in the dark in Newmarket


The Editor
Racing Post
1 Canada Square
Canary Wharf
London E14 5AP

Sir,

Your piece on 23 July, "Britain hits out at decision to ban exercising in the dark in Newmarket" is factually incorrect.

HSE has not issued a directive that will ban trainers from exercising horses in the dark from October. The incident at a crossing in Newmarket in December 2006, was reported to us, but we did not formally investigate it as it did not meet our selection criteria.

Yours faithfully
Geoffrey Podger
Chief Executive
Health and Safety Executive
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safety photos
Safety photos and a few safety jokes - Original jokes are copyright

Sunday, July 29, 2007

Saturday, July 28, 2007

Copyright

How many Web jokers does it take to change a light bulb?
  • 1,827. One to tell the original joke, the rest to give some minor variation of it!
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safety photos
Safety photos and a few safety jokes - Original jokes are copyright

Fellow

A bus load of safety professionals arrives at Runnymede. They gather around the guide who says, "This is the spot where the barons forced King John to sign the Magna Carta."

A fellow at the front of the crowd asks, "When did that happen?"

"1215," answers the guide.

The man looks at his watch and says, "Damn! Just missed it by a half hour!"


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safety photos
Safety photos and a few safety jokes - Original jokes are copyright

Days of kidding around have flown the coop

Daily Herald | Travel: "By Gail Todd
Posted Saturday, July 28, 2007


Did you hear about the passenger who was kicked off an airplane for repeatedly saying 'Bye-bye, airplane' while the flight attendant was giving the safety demonstration?

With airports and airlines all on high alert for terrorist activity, it's no surprise they took the dialogue seriously. In today's travel atmosphere, just saying 'hi' to your friend 'Jack' might cause you to receive a security pat down.

But what makes this story unique is the age of the orator: 19 months."

The Daily Record - NEWS - News Feed - HEE-HAW KIDS IN DONKEY DERBY


The Daily Record - NEWS - News Feed - HEE-HAW KIDS IN DONKEY DERBY: "By Stephen White

ANGRY parents slammed Britain's compensation culture yesterday after kids were barred from a donkey derby for 'health and safety reasons'."

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Port postings: Lifeboats

Port postings: Lifeboats

The myth: New regulations would require trapeze artists to wear hard hats


The reality

Despite being widely reported at the time and regularly repeated since, this story is utter nonsense. There never were any such regulations.

Hard hats do an excellent job of protecting building workers from falling debris - but they have no place on a trapeze.
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safety photos
Safety photos and a few safety jokes - Original jokes are copyright

ARUN JOSHI's Blogs Page, Rediff iLand

ARUN JOSHI's Blogs Page, Rediff iLand: "safety joke

Joke of the month

An explosion occurs in a paint mixing room, and once all the mess has been cleared up, the inquiry begins.

One of the few surviving witnesses is called to make a statement. 'Okay Simpson,' says the investigator, 'you were near the scene - what happened ?'

'Well, it's like this. Old Charlie was in the mixing room, the break bell went off, old Charlie sat on top of a drum of acetone, I saw him take a cigarette out of his pocket and start to light up.'

'He struck a match in the mixing room?' the investigator said in stunned horror, 'How long had he been working in the mixing room?'

'About 20 years, sir'

'After 20 years he goes and strikes a match in the mixing room, I'd have thought it would have been the last thing he'd do.'

'It was, sir.'"

Funny safety joke | Gristmill: The environmental news blog | Grist

Funny safety joke | Gristmill: The environmental news blog | Grist: "Have you heard the one about the Japanese nuclear reactor that caught fire and leaked radioactive waste into the ocean?"

Sunday, July 22, 2007

NewsWatch - What's the point?

NewsWatch: "Nearly every week, someone calls or writes to ask why NewsWatch exists.

They say it appears to be little more than a platform for the BBC to defend its actions and to ignore the comments and complaints of the licence fee payers."

"'Sorry' is not in the BBC's vocabulary." However, for many viewers, it's not what the BBC representatives say, it's how they say it. The word that crops up most in our correspondence is "arrogant".

Friday, July 20, 2007

Myth of the month - May 2007


Myth of the month - May 2007:

The Myth: Risk assessments must always be long and complex


The reality

On its own, paperwork never saved anyone. It is a means to an end, not an end in itself - action is what protects people. So risk assessments should be fit for purpose and acted upon.

OK, if you’re running an oil refinery you’re going to need a fair amount of paperwork. But for most, bullet points work very well indeed.

Myth of the month - April 2007


Myth of the month - April 2007

The Myth: HSE has banned stepladders



The reality

We have not banned stepladders - nor have we banned ladders! Despite this, the allegation is regularly repeated and some firms have fallen for the myth and acted upon it.

For straightforward, short duration work stepladders and ladders can be a good option, but you wouldn’t want to be wobbling about on them doing complex tasks for long periods. A large number of workers are seriously injured or killed using ladders and stepladders each year. So:

  • Yes – we want people to use the right equipment for the job.
  • Yes – there are some common-sense rules for using them safely.
  • But no – we have not banned them!

Thursday, July 19, 2007

BBC NEWS | BBC editorial leaders suspended

BBC NEWS | Entertainment | BBC editorial leaders suspended: "A number of senior BBC editorial staff have been suspended with immediate effect in the wake of revelations about faked phone-in competitions."

BBC NEWS | Nick Robinson's Newslog

BBC NEWS | Nick Robinson's Newslog: "Well well well. He's gone and done it. When I urged bloggers to draft Boris little did I believe that it would actually happen."

From elf and safety to blithering Balls - Telegraph

From elf and safety to blithering Balls - Telegraph: "So now he tells us. Now he tries to repent. Well, thanks for nothing, chum. After 10 years of suffocating legislation, the Labour Secretary for Children and Schools, Mr Edward Balls, appears to have woken up to what his government has done."

Killjoys Go Bonkers Over Conkers (from The Argus)

Killjoys Go Bonkers Over Conkers (from The Argus): "Town hall killjoys worried about insurance claims are denying
children the fun of knocking down conkers."

It looks like Boris will be banned as he is bonkers.

Saturday, July 14, 2007

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Smuggler

A Scots man comes up to the English border on his bike. He's got two large bags over his shoulders. The Customs and Excise Officer stops him and says, 'What's in the bags?'


'Sand,' answered the Scots man.


The officer says, 'We'll just see about that. Get off the bike.' The Customs officer takes the bags and rips them apart; he empties them out and finds nothing in them but sand. He detains the Scots man overnight and has the sand analysed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags.

The officer releases the Scot, puts the sand into new bags, hefts them onto the Scots shoulders, and lets him cross the border.
A week later, the same thing happens. The officer asks, 'What have you got?'
'Sand,' says the Scots man.


The excise officer does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand. He gives the sand back to the Scots man, and crosses the border on his bike. This sequence of events is repeated every day for three years.
Finally, the Scots man, doesn't show up one day and the officer meets him in a bar in Glasgow.
'Hey, Jock,' says the Revenue Officer, 'I know you are smuggling something. It's driving me crazy. It's all I think about...I can't sleep. Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?'
The Scots man, sips his Whiskey and says, 'Bikes.'


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safety photos
Safety photos and a few safety jokes - Original jokes are copyright